Dear guys I saw in a parking lot today,

Three fashion tips:

1. Smoking while talking is gross. I don't need to watch the ashes on the end of your cigarette bob up and down as you're extolling the virtues of motor oil. Take the damn thing out of your mouth.

2. Black socks should never, ever, ever, be worn with:
a. sandals. Any kind of sandals. Even black sandals. It's all bad. Really, the whole point of sandals is to not wear any socks. If you want to wear socks, wear runners.
b. shorts. Do you really need the contrast between the black socks and your pasty white canadian legs? Neither do I.
c. both. And don't think it makes it okay if you pull them up to your knees, or push them down to your ankles...both looks are equally attractive, which is to say not at all.

3. Sleeveless shirts (especially the dirty white kind with the huge arm and neck holes) only work for Brad Pitt, or men who look like Brad Pitt. This does not include men who think they look like Brad Pitt. Even an older Brad Pitt. Trust me, I think I speak for girls everywhere when I say that noone really looks like Brad Pitt, except for well, Brad Pitt. And maybe that Josh guy from Las Vegas. If you are not either of those two men, and I am convinced that you aren't (unless they have really let themselves go) then please invest in some shirts with sleeves.

Thank you,

me