on living in a basement suite

In this episode: our upstairs neighbours, and their inspirational vocabulary. Learn how you too, can express every emotion with only four little words.

We have two, sometimes twelve neighbours in the apartment above us. We are privy to every detail of their lives, since the ceiling/floor is not what one might call soundproof, or sound resistant, or even mildly sound dampening. In fact, I think that scientists should come study our ceiling/floor as it may be made of a previously undiscovered volume boosting material. Like maybe reverse asbestos. I call it "sotsebsa". I only ask for 50% of the royalties.

I need that money to buy earplugs. LOTS of earplugs. Here is a reinactment of their "conversations":

n1 [screaming]: "fuck you man!"

n2 [yelling]: "no, fuck YOU man!"

n1: "no, FUCK you man!"

n2: "no, FUCK YOU man"

n1: "NO, fuck you MAN!"

.....and I didn't know that sentence had so many possibilities, inflection-wise. They start this at about 1am every night, and don't stop until 9 or 10am. In their spare time, they also enjoy stomping, dropping anvils, breaking glass bottles, and rolling what sounds like a bowling ball through the house. One of them also has recently acquired a new girlfriend, [I know! I was just as surprised as you to find out that such a stunning piece of intellectual manhood was not already snatched up by some lucky lady!]

She's a screamer. It's swell.

Anyways, p and I are learning a lot from them and hope to one day fully master the "fuck you man" mantra. To this end, we've been having a lot of practice conversations:

k [inquisitively]: "fuck you man?"

p [shakes head sadly]: "no, fuck you man."

k [sympathetic]: "no....fuck YOU man?"

p [sighs, resigned]: "no. fuck you man, fuck you."


on the next episode....the various oddly placed holes in the walls...what do they contain? And what DOES living out of boxes for four months do to a person's sanity? Find out, only on "living in a basement suite"